Top ten reasons I’ve lived in Worcester too long:

10. Chirping birds sound more out-of-place than gunshots
9. It’s not surprising to me when there is a car coming at me the wrong way on I-290
8. I have lived in more than 2 different places
7. I know where Danker square, Electric street, and Tahanto Road are
6. The police wave to me
5. The water tastes good
4. I drive up college hill for fun during snowstorms
3. I had a party in my dead suicidal neighbor’s apartment
2. I get worried when it hasn’t snowed in 24 hours
1. Local news is interesting!